Madrid barajas, 1015 hrs Local
So, waiting on a fligt to NYC and thought i would throw up a post. Today's entry of the day was emailed by Wally-Do and is about Hole in the Wall whic h, is, in my humble and unbiased opinion, about as cool as a fanny pack. However, this email sums it up prefectly, and is, let me repeat, is, 100% acccurate.
Here Goes:
I personally cannot relate to this email at all.
HOLE IN THE WALL is a fine establishment that many of the local
folk in
Atlanta somehow end up at every Friday and even Saturday night,
whether
they like it or not. Most party-goers try and deny the fact that
they go to HOLE IN THE WALL and
even more so, try and pretend like they don't enjoy going there.
However,
every time you go (every weekend) you see the same people and
try to blame others
for being regulars there, even mocking them at times (You
hypocrite).
But it's hard to resist...Hey, it's human nature to flock where
the
prime clientele is located. The question remains:
Why go else where when you are black-out drunk, won't see anyone
you
know, and cannot turn into "that" guy or girl after drinking one
more
beer from the classy dancing beer girls?
HOLE IN THE WALL is where you think (KNOW) you belong after 1
am....
But, here is where the REAL problem lies: HOLE IN THE WALL does
not need
to stay open until 4 am....
Maybe if this local favorite closed at a more reasonable time,
many
problems and embarrassments could be prevented, and people might
actually admit that, "Yeah, I'll be at HOLE IN THE WALL
tonight." (Is
that possible to ever
think?)
So, without further adieu, here are:
**REASONS WHY NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS AT HOLE IN THE WALL PAST 2
AM**
1. You get so drunk that you totally think you own the place
and can
talk to anyone in the bar....The next day, you don't remember
any of the REALLY cool things that you said. And wait, was that person
actually hot or was it the beer goggles?
2. You decide that the meat market atmosphere is just part of
HOLE IN
THE WALL's charm and accept it accordingly. WARNING!!! You are
playing with fire.
3. Girls, you give your number out to the unseeming player
because at
the time it seems like a great idea and you think, "This guy is
so nice and really likes me."
Does he EVER call? Note to self: NO. (See no. 14)
4. Boys, you ask for any girl's number because it seems like an
even
better idea and an easier way into tricking the girl into going
home with you.
5. You go on the dance floor. Enough said.
6. You dance up on stage (Even if you have to push some people
off--It's a Man eats Man world) and think you look cool...Even more
said.
7. You leave your credit card there and don't notice until you
REALLY
need it the next day. Hitting HOLE IN THE WALL during daylight
is nothing more than an
embarrassment. By the way, has anyone ever noticed that HOLE IN
THE WALL comes up
as "EXPO ENTERTAINMENT" on your credit card bill?
8 . You have a 50% chance of waking up Saturday morning and
having
absolutely no idea where you are (or who you are with), an 80%
chance of being "THAT" guy or girl, and
increase your chances of having a hangover from hell by 100%.
9. You find yourself either a) singing or b) dancing to songs
like,
"Shout" or "Grease."There is just no excuse for that kind of
behavior. But remember, you
really DO look cool when you jam to "Livin' on a Prayer."
10. You are more inclined to go to Backstreet or Riviera b/c
HOLE IN THE
WALL has only wet your appetite. If you do end up at either
place, you probably don't know
anyone you're with.
11. You begin to drop your drinks on the floor or on someone
else. You
don't even care and actually think it's really funny (You now
have the mindset of an 8 year old.
I have one word for you: REGRESSION ).
12. You see all of the people that you've hooked up with after a
late
night
at HOLE IN THE WALL
previously and see them all hitting on someone else--it
doesn't even
phase you b/c it's
a normal practice. (What's wrong with this picture?)
13. Making out on the dance floor is perfectly acceptable in
your mind.
You
don't even care
what people are thinking at this point or if your friends
will ever
let
you forget this (And they won't)....
14. Boys, you somehow have the balls to booty call a girl when
you get
home.
If you were unsuccessful
at HOLE IN THE WALL, you believe there is still a
chance--you are
desperate (Have you no shame?
Wait--Don't answer that question).
15. Girls, you innocently believe that talking to this guy and
maybe
going home with him, is going somewhere. You are an idiot.
16. All socially unacceptable behavior is acceptable in your
mind (What
would your mother say?!?!)
17. You might end up peeing in someone else's bed. It's all
HOLE IN THE
WALL's fault. (Keep on telling yourself that, slick.)
18 . You WILL end up at Krystal, Taco Hell, or Waffle House if
you are
not heading home with someone.
And you WILL be spotted by someone you know....Every time.
19. Boys, you will most definitely try and take a girl home that
you've
already struck out with before. Now you look like even more of
a douche bag.
20.. Two words: BLACK OUT.
21. You decide that wearing sunglasses, lays, hats, women's
coats (for
you boys) or boas will bring you attention. You are wrong. You
only look like a fool.
22. It is safe to say that at least one time after late night
HOLE IN
THE WALL, you will end up unconscious in a bush, yard,or parking
lot, etc.
23. Your reputation and cool points decrease dramatically if you
personally relate to 3 or more of these reasons.(Especially note
numbers 6, 13, and 17)
24. EVERYTHING seems like a great idea. Listen to me carefully:
NOTHING
is even remotely close to a good idea after 2 am. And that my
friends, is why you should cut yourself off at HOLE IN THE
WALL by 2 am and force
yourself to go home!!! However, if your will power sucks and you
are a
drunk idiot, staying until close at 4 am keeps things
interesting and
always makes for some good stories
**Please feel free to copy and paste this email into an email
with your
own
comments and experiences. Send
it to all of the people that were on the email when it was sent
to you
as well as others who would appreciate such words of wisdom and
can
relate to at least something on this list.**
SEE YOU THIS FRIDAY AT HOLE IN THE WALL! (Don't even try to deny
it)
Jesus - it so true its not even funny. I have been, told many lies, and even kind of enjoyed it.
On another note, I am leaving Spain this morning, and although I am glad to get back to ATL, I will definetly miss this place. Had a farewell dinner last night at a restored country estate outside of Madrid, and will swear on anything that it is one of the best meals I have ever had in my life. The name of the place is something like Quinta de Fernando, or something like that. I have a card, but it is under the plane at the moment, and I can't get to it.
Our multinational team of green builders (Two gringoes, a spaniard, a bolivian and two brazilians) has almost finished the project here in Las Rejas Golf Course and I have been promised photos as soon as possible. they will be posted. i swear.
coming back here for vacation, and have looked at some local real estate. hopefully I can buy a place here in the next few years.
I smell jet fuel. Next Stop EWR
- DC
posted by - DC @ 25.8.05
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